You might be a Single Lady if...

After having your OkCupid account for two months, the only action you received other than requests to "come over and do it" from meathead bros was a date with the former World Champion of Pokemon.  I choose you, Dorkachu!

You might be a Single Lady if...

You meet two dudes.  One is a cop.  The other is a felon serving six years probation for possession of drugs and guns.  They both ask you out.  Enforcer of the law and protector of this great city?  No, thank you.  Felon who lies about his age and won't reveal what he does for a living?  Yes, please!  Great decision-making, S.L.

It's Not Just Philadelphia

"The Williamsturd: A Post-Post-Feminist Phenomenon" by Sara Graham.  READ HERE

You might be a Single Lady if...

Your ex would rather date a girl who wears mock turtlenecks in public.  See picture below.  No additional words necessary.

Songs for Single Ladies

"I'll do almost anything that you want me to, but I can't go for that.  No can do!"

You might be a Single Lady if...

Your most realistic prospect is a dude with a missing tooth who dresses like Kid Rock circa 1999, lives six hours away and has $.40 in his bank account.  And HE won’t even call you back.

You might be a Single Lady if...

Your friend since fourth grade spent the weekend on a posh ski trip in Vail with her boyfriend.  On a snowy mountain night, surrounded by Christmas lights, he asked her to marry him.  On the same evening across the country, you gave your phone number to a crust punk with his two front teeth missing and his dog’s name tattooed across his forehead.  Awwww...